Neymar to Barca? NEVER!!! >> Read My Mind

Brazilian Ronaldo: 'It's normal for Barca and Real Madrid to show an interest to sign Neymar, but I will do all I can to take him to the Bernabeu'

Neymar's dad: 'There's nothing new about my son's future. I'm surprised untrue rumours hit the press, this has been going for 13 years now'

Santos president: 'We haven't sold Neymar. Yes, major clubs are interested but he will remain in Brazil until, at least, 2013'

- The latest football gossip reported FC Barcelona had signed Neymar for 60MILLeu from January 2013.

To be honest, this saga will continue to annoy us for months to come in another lame attempt to sell newspapers by the Madrid-based media.

Los Merengues are desperate to talk about new stars after failing to motivate their fanbase with their poor summer signings: A couple of injured Turkish player, Coentrao for a massive 30MILLeu and some other guys which I can't even be bothered to mention.

As things stand, Guardiola has the prefect squad and we need to give our footballers a chance to prove their worth before considering new ones.

Plus, Neymar doesn't exactly fit into the 'humble, hardworking, adaptable' idea Pep normally looks for: The pinapple-haired boy should listen to Fat Ronaldo and join Los Mandriles instead.

If he's lucky, he can start joining Cristina Ronalda and make some extra cash advertising thongs together.